Position Available: Prefer redhead (reason omitted)

So I'm no Hemingway (For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn), but frankly, that should be a relief. Who needs some bit-wasting nonsense about an Old Man chilling in a dinghy, fighting with a couple cans of Chicken O' the Sea?

If you're not entertained, I'm not sorry, go twittle yourself.

(For the #whoosh factor, the phrase "For Sale: Baby shoes, never worn" is by itself a complete work of fiction by Hemingway. So is the 100-page bore-fest that is Old Man and the Sea, by the same author. Thus the question of whether this blog will eventually waste your time cannot be answered in the original contrast with Hemingway, and I have therefore wasted your time. Still whoosh?)